There are also some people who flat out lie or try to bully me or my employees to try to get a discount or something for free. I think that’s the type of person that upsets me the most and the ones that I will instantly put into the “unreasonable” category. Here’s a very recent example…

The following is a response to my most recent email to everybody who’s on the email list. The email I sent out was to inform all of those who voted for us for the CBS8 Mojo Awards, that another pizza place sabotaged the voting at the last hour and knocked us out of first place. Why did I send this email out? Because if we came in 1st, I was going to throw a free pizza party for everybody on the mailing list. But this competitor, who’s done similar things in the past, literally took food out of the mouths of everybody on the email list. So I wanted to let them know what had happened and who was responsible so that they were aware of the business practices of the competitor. I also wanted everybody on the mailing list to read it so I put in the subject line “We won!!! Free pizza party this Sunday!!!” and then let them down sort of hard with the explanation of the competitors actions. After all, who wouldn’t open that email? (turns out about 100 people, but anyways…) This is the response I got from one of the people on my email list…

“i din not think this was very funny. i was very excited to read this thinking you guys may by some mere chance, have a special or coupon. I am on a very limited income & I bought your pizza for the first time last week wanting o splurg. i spent almost 30 bucks trying to feed my family of 4. i thought because the pizza was so much that it would surely feed a family of 4. NOT! it was good but not that darn good! not for  the size that it was…”

Aside from this person’s email being riddled with typos and/or bad grammar, what I focused on in this complaint was the following:

1. I am on a very limited income.
2. They made a claim that what they bought for $30 wasn’t enough to serve a family of 4.
3. She alluded to me charging too much for my food.

While I sympathized with the individual on the limited income thing, I wasn’t sure how they could spend $30 at my store and not be able to feed a family of 4.  And I wasn’t super happy about saying that my food wasn’t worth what she paid for because I was worried that maybe she had been overcharged. So I sent the following email to investigate her complaint:

“It wasn’t meant to be a joke. It was meant to stir your emotions a little bit
because if we won that poll (I’m assuming that you just started subscribing last
week and didn’t know this) we were going to throw a free pizza party to
celebrate. We were winning based on honest reviews of our place, then at the
last hour, the competitor that I mentioned started doing some fake voting to
knock us out of first and deny you a free pizza party. So, he literally took
food out of your mouth and I just wanted everyone to know the tactics that guy
uses.
 
I’m not sure what pizza your bought, but at $30 I find it hard to believe that
you couldn’t feed 4 people. Our most expensive stuffed pizza costs $26 plus tax
and weighs nearly 6 pounds which easily feeds 4. Our most expensive thin crust
pizza costs $21 plus and is 18″ in size plus that would leave you almost $7 to
buy some other stuff like our garlic knots and the pizza and the knots would
surely feed a family of 4. I appreciate you saying that the pizza was good, but
I take some exception to the fact that you are basically telling me that I
charge too much for my food. Go to this website and compare this guys prices to
mine: http://www.grazianospizzeria.com/. His 16″ Graziano’s Special costs almost
20% more than my 18″ #72 and mine is a better pizza. I use only the best
ingredients known in the industry (unlike Graziano’s) and I don’t charge you
more for it.
 
I do send out specials thru this email from time to time, but just not this
time. Sometimes I send out notes to my customers telling them about upcoming
sporting events, ramble on about the weather, etc. If you don’t want to receive
them anymore, just unsubscribe. No harm, no foul.”
 
Scott

A simple email, professionally written with evidence to back up my claims and an explanation of what comes out in my ‘newsletters’ and that I won’t be offended if she unsubscribed to the mailing list since it’s not always a coupon or a special that I send out.

Needless to say, that I was a little surprised when I received this reply from her:

“WOW! 2 paragraphs huh!?? lol!! you own a business you should know that not all your feedback will be positive. i am being honest. it is my opinion only-but it is mine & i have a right to it. your pizza is obviously for the “upscale client”. know that you will get feedback when you own a business from all types of people. and know that all of it my not be “warm & fuzzy”, but still ALL OF IT it is worth hearing–the good & the bad. how can you improve if you can not take criticism? it was the stuffed pizza, we spent almost 30 bucks like i stated in the last email after taxes. it was what was recommend to me over the phone, I was in the car & not at home where i could access your web page & menu so i was at the guy’s mercy who answered the phone. i told the guy that i had never eaten there before….how funny that he recommended the most expensive thing on the list! he could have at least said: “our more expensive pizza is blah blah blah but if you are not looking to spend that much we have other ones such as blah blah blah”. oh well don’t worry i am not placing blame…i an adult my arm wasn’t twisted. shame on you the first time, but shame on me the next right? remember next time you send a ‘volatile’ email that “word of mouth could ruin a business” but the Holy Spirit will not allow me to go there as much as I’d like to. i’ll be nice & keep this one between you & i. this time.

God Bless”

Great. Now I’ve got some kook (with bad grammar and typos and who can’t count how many paragraphs I wrote) threatening to try and ruin my business. I’ve got to take that pretty seriously. That’s just like threatening my family. Plus it sounds like she’s got a lot of business experience of her own that she’s willing to share so I start to wonder how “limited” her income really is. So, I take about 3 minutes of my time on Google to see if I can find out who she is based on her email address alone. Here’s what I found out:

1. That she lives in the subdivision at the end of Garden Road. Hardly a “limited income” neighborhood.
2. Zillow lists her house at having 4 bedrooms, 3.5 baths and being worth over $650k. Again, not a “limited income” type of house to own.
3. That she’s a registered nurse for Kaiser Permanente. Have you heard the Kaiser Permanente radio ads where they say that nurses are the most unselfish and compassionate people on the planet? Obviously they don’t know this person is working for them. And again, unless she donates all her salary to charity, she doesn’t hold a  limited income type of job.
4.  That she can afford to send her daughter to a soccer camp where the kids stay overnight in cabins according to a report in the Union Tribune last year. But she claims that spending $30 on dinner is splurging.
5. That her husband also works so they are a dual (rather than “limited”) income family.

Basically, the lady is not being all that honest about the ’limited income’ statement and is trying to use that lie as a way to make me feel guilty enough to offer her a coupon or some special.  Then when I defended my product and pricing she threatens to start a “word of mouth” shock and awe campaign against my business if I don’t kiss her butt the next time or write her back with something she doesn’t want to hear. 

The best part of both of her emails is the footer…

“Character is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching!”

DING! DING! DING! We have a winner! This woman has just fit my definition of the word “unreasonable” to a “T” and is no longer welcome in my establishment. I’ve withheld her name here rather than embarass her publicly in front of the nearly 10,000 people who view this page every month and I didn’t even need to summon the power of Christ to do so.

Those of you who have been customers for quite some time now realize how I run my shop. I want everything to be perfect. The pizza, the time we quote you to get it made, the experience you have in my shop, etc. If we mess something up, we fix it. While I hate messing even one order up, especially when it’s a stuffed pizza and you’ve waited quite a while for it and it will take quite a while to fix it on the spot, the truth of the matter is that it happens from time to time for one reason or another.

No one likes that situation, but if you know me as many of you do now, you also know that I probably don’t like that situation happening more than the person it happens to. I always react professionally by admitting that we made a mistake rather than trying to deny that we did or hide the fact that we did, I then apologize, and then offer up a solution or ask you how you’d like the situation remedied. I’ve also informed my staff that they are to handle our mistakes in the same manner and I know that they follow my instructions.

Usually the reaction from our customers when we take that approach is more than gracious despite their initial disappointment. It just goes to show that honesty and the desire to do the right thing go a long way. If you treat people with respect and you’re honest with explaining what happened, even though they may not like what they’re hearing, they at least appreciate the fact that what your telling them is the truth and not trying to deny responsibility.

So if you ever have an issue with my product or the service that my employees are providing please let us know about it. I know it can get frustrating when something goes wrong and you have a bunch of little ones who are starving and we’ve let you down, but I promise you that if you treat us with respect when you voice your complaint, we will bend over backwards to try and fix the situation right then and there. If you start using profanity, pounding your fist on the desk, and raising your voice, we’ll probably just point to the sign, and then to the door.

My goal is to please each and every customer who walks thru the door, but since human error and emotions can play into the equation I also know that it is an impossible goal to attain. All I ask is that you maintain a sense of sensibility should we make a mistake on your order and treat the person you’re relaying the complaint to with respect and we’ll do our best to do right by you.

I thank you for your continued business and as always…

Stay hungry my friends,

Scott